To have a First Look or not - This is the Question.
A thoughtful guide to deciding what’s right for you, in your voice of intimate storytelling.
One of the first questions couples ask me when planning their timeline is whether or not to do a first look. And I get it—it’s a big decision, and it shapes how your day flows, how you feel, and even what your photos look like. The biggest hang-up comes from whether or not the couple wants to be more ‘traditional or not. Well, let’s take a closer look at it all.
What Is a First Look?
It’s become more common in recent years, but I still meet couples who have never heard of a First Look. At its simplest, it’s a private moment to see each other before the ceremony. But in my experience, it’s much more than that.
The First Look is one of the rare moments on your wedding day where you can just be together—without an audience, without a schedule pulling you in every direction. It usually happens in a quiet space, before the whirlwind of guests, photos, and celebration begins. While some photographers invite the wedding party to watch, I believe this moment is just for the two of you. I’m simply a quiet observer, documenting from a respectful distance.
It doesn’t have to be long—unless you want it to be. But it’s always meaningful. A soft pause before the day begins, just the two of you, with no expectations and no interruptions. Just love, calm, and the occasional quiet click.
Why Couples Choose a First Look
There are so many reasons a couple might choose to share a First Look. Here are a few that tend to resonate most:
To share a moment that’s just yours.
Weddings are joyful, beautiful, full of life—but they’re also full of people, moving parts, and energy coming from every direction. A First Look gives you a quiet pause in the midst of it all. It’s one of the only moments you’ll have to be truly alone together, and that’s worth protecting.
To calm the nerves.
There’s a natural emotional build-up on a wedding day. Sometimes, just seeing the person who steadies you—taking their hand, hearing their voice—is all it takes to breathe a little deeper and reset your heart.
To free up time later in the day.
Doing portraits before the ceremony means less pressure afterward. You’ll have more time for the images you want (with more natural light to work with), and you’ll get to enjoy cocktail hour without rushing through a checklist. Bonus: you’ll look fresh, having just gotten ready.
To make the most of the light.
This matters especially in fall and winter weddings, where golden hour can sneak in around 3 PM. A First Look lets us work with natural light at its best, while keeping your timeline intact. It’s a practical choice that still feels deeply romantic.
To say what you might not say at the altar.
Maybe you’ve written each other letters, or maybe you want to exchange a few words privately. A First Look gives you the space to be real, to be a little messy or a little teary, without the eyes of a hundred guests watching.
What I’ve Noticed as a Photographer
People might offer their opinions—sometimes lovingly, sometimes loudly—but when it comes to planning your timeline, I truly believe two things:
First: There are no rules. Just because your parents did it a certain way doesn’t mean you have to. This is your day. If you want to see each other before the ceremony—do it. If you’d rather carry a puppy than a bouquet—absolutely. If your dream reception is dancing to EDM under string lights—yes, please. Your wedding should reflect you, not a checklist written decades ago.
Second: What matters most is how you want to feel. When you look back on this day—what do you want to remember? Close your eyes. Picture it. How does it feel? Calm, joyful, electric, grounded? That feeling is your north star. Let’s build your timeline around it.
So… should you do a First Look?
Trust your instincts. There’s no one-size-fits-all answer, only what feels most true to the two of you. The best moments of your wedding day will come from choices that reflect who you are, not what tradition dictates. Whether you share that first glance before the ceremony or wait until the aisle, it should feel right in your bones. I’ll be there to document it, quietly and honestly, either way.
